The Big Challenge

The Crippler on Flat Track Fever

We did play better the second half. We lacked focus and weren't playing together during the first half. And, obviously, the majors committed by every single one of our jammers really hurt us. Not having a jammer on the track scoring points is the worst possible situation in derby.

The Bitch Doctors no longer have the mystique they once had. I don't think intimidation was a factor in this game. They do have some big blockers that are very good, but I honestly think that the Hellions hit harder. Size isn't everything. We were excited to play them.

It is frustrating to lose a game, regardless of who you lose to. I didn't have a sense of deja vu about this game in particular.

No one on our team took any notice of promises made about this game. We laughed about it being mentioned on your blog and never gave it a second thought after that.

This season was one of transition for the Hellions. We played all last season with only 7 or 8 core players and had to use 2-3 subs at every game. Our roster this season is 50% new players. It is a challenge to try to train rookies and at the same time get everyone to gel as a team. With so many new and inexperienced players, teamwork can be inconsistent, as seen in this last game. All things considered, I think we've done very well and I'm really happy with how our players have worked and improved this season. I think we're going to have a really strong, tight team next season.

Our team votes for MVP at the end of the season, which we have not done yet. Speaking purely for myself, I would name BB Basher MVP. She is extremely consistent at every game, is one of our hardest hitters, has a great attitude, and has really helped bring our rookies up to speed.

Bitch Doctors on Flat Track Fever

I've heard members of other teams describe your team as very physical and intimidating. Do you agree with that, and do you cultivate that image on purpose.

Well maybe last year when the season started. We wanted to look as menacing as possible to really try to get in side people heads. But this year is different. We play & practice with these women weekly so any type of intimidation that was there last year is probably not there this year. I think there are many girls on our team as well as all the other teams that have really intimidating individual players. Obviously the better a player you are the more you will intimidate someone whether you are trying to or not.

Are the voodoo skulls and pirate flags part of that image, and an attempt to show dominance even before the match starts?

In a sense I guess but, those were made just for fun last year. It was more of a way for our fans to really get in to the intros & help get the crowd going before the game even started. We didn’t use them again until Saturday, and we decided to play our old intro song & bust out the heads in an effort to grab a hold of last years team mojo. Some gals are really superstitious too so at our last team practice before the game it was determined that Slayers Reign in Blood was jinxed so we when back to “The Bitch is Back” by Synergy. My favorite part is the beginning of the song when the first line she screams “ Listen up everybody because the BITCH is Back!” That’s how we felt….like don’t count us out cause were back & were not going to lose this one!
How did the prior match's loss influence preparation for this match?

It didn’t really, we weren’t going up against the Dolls again. Each team has a different way of playing. We haven’t scrimmaged the Hellions at all this year so we really didn’t know for sure what they were going to do. We were just trying to focus more on defense for this game. Now if we end of playing the Dolls in the Championship then Yes, the loss to them will definitely influence the way we would prepare for that game.
Did you think about any guarantees made by any of your opponents going into or in this match?

Ha-ha no, I didn’t even know there was such a guarantee until the week of the game.

Did you expect to be going to the championship game two years in a row?

Of course we hoped we’d be going again, but you can’t just expect things are going to go your way, you just have to stay focused & fight for your spot!
The rookies seemed to contribute a lot, did they help fire up the team as a whole?

Absolutely! Do you know that the last team practice we had before the game was the FIRST time all season we had 12 people on skates at the same time! We have been looking forward to a team practice where we had enough people to even complete the drills we planned. We still are waiting for Lolli Pop & Hurricane Heather to return!

How's Beth Death's injury doing? Is she up to full yet?

She was playing that game with a bad knee to begin with. She injured her good knee on Saturday. We are all waiting to her from her once she sees her doctor. We can only hope for the best. She is such an amazing competitor & we of course want to see her healthy again. I give her many kudos for even getting to the point were she was able to skate.
Thoughts on the season so far, who's stood out on your team, and what do you need to do to win the championship again?
We can’t pick 1 or 2 players, everyone on the team has stood out in one way or another. Everyone has contributed something to the team. All we ask is that all our girls give us 100% of themselves & I think they have all done that so far. We have to take it 1 game at a time. I can’t wait for August 9th, we will be coming home from the beach a day early just so I can make it back in time to see the game.

I think we will figure out what we have to work on as that game progresses. Once we see what the Slashers & the Dolls bring to the table on August 9th we will be better prepared for the championship. We wish them both the best of luck. We know it is going to be a fierce game & fight all the way.

Xoxo~ Dresta Kill & Double Destroyer

Sugar Plum Scary on Flat Track Fever

I did feel that we lacked focus early on and we do seem to start slow when we play at bouts (especially this season). I feel that we scrimmaged a lot and tried to prepare during our practices for this, but our jammers had penalties right off the get go and our defense did not hit or hold the other teams jammer, which put us down immediately. We did try and call a time out early on and regain the focus, but it took us a little while to get it together. The B Doctors were more together as a team, but we also had four rookies that had just joined us less than three weeks ago, that we worked with to bring together to play our game. I think we needed more time as a team with our rookies. Our rookies however, for their first bout did an amazing job. If you look at the second period we outscored the B Doctors. We needed to come out the first period that hard hitting and focused as a team.

We have a team, who from injuries last season and getting new people who have never fully had the chance to work together as a team. We used subtitues last season for all of our games, because we had people out most of the season. So when we came together this season we had people who had never worked together before; like Kinky Kurlz and Formalda Heidi had never skated with Fonda Bruises and Maida Steel as a team last season, plus we got Amanda Smakround and then add four new rookies to this mix with only a few weeks to get ready for their first bout..so technically we were like a new team coming together this season. It takes a little while to gel as a team, and I feel that we did alright despite this. I think that next season will be good for the Hellions, because we worked hard both on and off the rink to become strong and avoid injuries through our hard work, so we wouldn't need to use subtitutes this season. I really feel that this gel will show next season when we have worked hard together and have become more used to being a team and working together to become more focused.

We were not physically intimidated by the B Doctors at all. In fact, we consider ourselves to be a really hard hitting physical team, however we did not start out that way and that set us back. We also pride ourselves on our endurance, which we work hard at practices to improve constantly. Ask our skaters how many times they have vomited during one of our practices. haha

We went to the championship last season against the B Doctors, but again we went with substitutes. I appreciate all the substitutes from last season that helped us get there and play with us, but it was great to be a full team of true Hellions this season, and although we didn't make it this time, I truly feel we will be a force to reckin with next season.

I do not get pulled into distractions before or during play. I don't care if team mates make guarantees nor do I feel some responsibility to back them up...those our just mental games that I don't play. I played to win and that is where my focus is before the game/during the game/ and even after the game. Peoples guarantees do not distract me...I don't even think about them. I think about playing the game and keeping my head in the game...that is my mental game. I even put the ref calls out of my head and I certainly didn't agree with some of the calls in the first period especially by Big F'n Ref, but I put it out of my head and focus on what I have to do.

I feel that overall we are a strong team that will continue to grow and gel together as we continue to work together. I am proud of my team, from our vets to our rookies, and as we become older and more experienced together our plays and skills we are working on will only make us improve as a unified unit! Look at the Detroit Red Wings against the Penguins..the fact that the Red Wings were an older team showed when they beat the penguins. As far as MVP...Crippler scored a lot of points she did great...but I also have to give kudos to our blockers during the second period, who were hitting so hard and really chipping down the B Doctors defense.

Latest Derby Demons News

7/13/08 B*tch Doctors 155, Hot Metal Hellions 117
Congratulations to the Bitch Doctors who defeated the Hot Metal Hellions yesterday at Flat Track Fever. The Doctors took a stunning 20-0 lead in the first few minutes and never slowed down.
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The Doctors opponent for the championship game will be determined next month on August 9th, when the Wrecking Dolls (1-1) take on the Slumber Party Slashers (1-1).

Full recap coming soon.

Mel Practice is Anthony Smith

by John Cihon

Mel Practice, after guaranteeing a win for her Hot Metal Hellions over the Bitch Doctors in the July Steel City Derby Demons event, Flat Track Fever, resembled Anthony Smith much more so than Joe Namath on this hot Saturday night. Anthony Smith, as you may recall, is the Pittsburgh Steelers safety who guaranteed a win this past season over the New England Patriots, the only NFL team ever to go undefeated in a regular sixteen game season.

Said Ms. Practice, following the Hellions thirty-eight point loss to the Doctors, “I’m the best ever at being wrong.” I would add, paraphrasing the X-Men’s Wolverine, “and what she does isn’t very pretty.”

More on Flat Track Fever coming.

John Waters on Roller Deby from USA Today

"Given the rise of roller derby and the momentum of Baltimore's own Charm City Roller Girls, do you have any interest in doing a movie about the roller derby?"

No, but I'm for them, and I love that most roller-derby girls today are ironic burlesque stars. They seem to do both. I've met the ones in Baltimore, and I've met the ones in a lot of cities I go to. It seems like roller derby girls are my fans, and I'm their fan, too. They always have a great look. No one gives them any trouble, 'cause they could kick your a-- in a minute. But they always have fashion. They're like a fashion model that could beat the s--- out of you. Which is a good look!

Steel City Derby Demons July Event

Saturday, July 12th
BladeRunners in Harmarville
Bitch Doctors vs. Hot Metal Hellions!!
Doors at 5:30 / Game at 6:30
$10 in advance / $15 at the door
KIDS 10 AND UNDER GET IN FREE!!

Mel Practice Guarantees Win

Mel Practice of the Hot Metal Hellions previously guaranteed a win against the Bitch Doctors in the upcoming July Steel City Derby Demons event.

She said, “We’re playing the Bitch Doctors next. We’re gonna win, we have to, otherwise we can’t get to the championship. I guarantee it.” The Hot Metal Hellions are currently at one win and one loss for the year, and they do indeed need a win to get to the title game.

Throughout the entire history of sports, the only time a guarantee of a win has actually worked and not backfired on the guarantee placer was when Joe Namath (originally of Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania, by the way), guaranteed a win for his New York Jets against the highly favored Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III. Not to mention, there is a certain amount of hubris that comes with guaranteeing a win in the next match immediately after a loss, as Mel did following her teams’ loss to the Slumber Party Slashers.

But you know what? I almost believe she can do it. She said it so matter of factly, and she’s demonstrated the talent to make me think she might be able to pull it off. I know she believes her team can do it. To quote Kanye West, “You gotta love it though somebody still speaks from their soul.”

A Bitch Doctors team representative responded, “She can think whatever she wants, but she’s going to be in for a shock when we beat her team.”

More on this story as it develops.

Julianna Hatfield to go to Pirates game

by John Cihon

Julianna Hatfield snaps a pic for her myspace

I hate Julianna Hatfield, she's such a bitch, she acts as if she doesn't even know her fans exist (because she didn't play that song about her sister).* How could she not play that song? Admittedly, 'Boiled Potato' or 'Rain' would have made me ecstatically happy, even though I didn't expect those, but throw the fans a freaking' bone (if you can't bring Freda Boner, and you can google that too if you don't know what I'm talking about). Is it that tough to play your one really big hit? Maybe I'm a bad fan who's standing in the way of her artistic growth, but I put up with her playing a set almost entirely composed of songs that aren't released yet, c'mon, gimmee a little reward. I would have even been okay with a total rearrangement of the song, just give me something I recognize. 'Spin the Bottle', maybe?

That said, Ms. Hatfield wasn't bad by any means. In a much more navel-gazing mood than rocking out mood, her punk and rock influences were pretty much completely absent from the new material. Her look took me back to those exciting days of the mid-nineties with her pairing of a sun dress and combat boots, a look that never really goes out of style, at least not if you're in art school. From my spot, about one hundred feet from the stage, she didn't really look any older than she did fifteen years ago, only thinner. A lot thinner.

As one of my fellow concert goers said to me, 'She's kind of like Liz Phair, except she actually cares when the guy dumps her.' That about sums it up.

But to get back to the topic stated in the headline, she asked the crowd if the Pittsburgh Pirates were playing tomorrow, told us she planned to go to a game, and asked how the Pirates were playing. She confessed to not being too familiar, as she was more of a BoSox fan.

I fear she may be disappointed in what she sees on the field.

* PC police, if you don't know what I'm talking about, don't get upset about my calling Ms. Hatfield a derogatory term, it's a reference, and if you don't get it, you should google it before sending me hate mail.